Lord Lich Yours Truly is known as Lord Lich. You are allowed to call her 'my lord' or 'my evilness'. She is often found in Volcano numbers 1 and 2, torturing victims, or in number 4, planning more world conquests. Otherwise, she may be found in number 3, sleeping.
Wishlist
The Thursday Next Series - Jasper Fford
Jingo - Pratchett
Hogfather - Pratchett
Going Postal - Pratchett
Tale of Two Cities
Night Watch - Pratchett
Thief of Time - Pratchett
Monstrous Regiment - Pratchett
Stardust - Neil Gaiman GOOD OMENS - Pratchett and Gaiman
The Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
I swear, even if it's the brightest, sunniest, breeziest and cheeriest day you can ever find, Mary Sues are bound to dampen your day. It's not just that they're nauseatingly wish-fulfilling, or that the author is so clearly living out her very disgusting fantasies with random people - and trust me, that is very, VERY bad - but that the authors are so entrenched in their wet dreams that they don't even pay attention to logic anymore.
For heavens' sake, let's get this straight. If you so desperately want yourself - oops, I meant your self-insert - to have a dancer's grace and elegance, then she cannot be a klutz. Even if someone reviews and tells you that you your character was a Mary Sue, and you want to add faults, a dancer cannot be a klutz. A dancer is about grace and poise and balance. Understanding your body and finding your CG and whatnot. If you DO want to put yourself your oh-so-original character as a klutz, too bad, so sad, no dancing for her. The whole idea of a flaw, darling, is that, you know. A blemish. Imperfection. Not some non-visible chip in a cup in which although she's a klutz she's still graceful and elegant and can dance the most wonderful dances and her clumsiness only serves to make her look cute. *bangs head repeatedly on the table - hard*
And for the record, tall, lithe, muscular females who are well versed in martial arts and kick asses everyday do not have big boobs. It's a fact of nature, seeing that the stuff in them are fats. I'm quite sick of seeing 'rounded creamy white breasts the size of watermelons'. There's, like, a reason why larger sized people have larger boobs, you know. Yeah, thin people can have big boobs. Provided they aren't muscular and that they don't work out regularly.
Big boobed people are not lithe, wiry martial artists. Lithe, wiry martial artists do not have big boobs. I don't care what your exception is.
And I know names cannot be copyrighted, but 'Sakura' is so overused it's plain ridiculous. And no, I'm not talking about card-captor sakura. And so is Naomi and Sapphire and Opal and Diamond and any other name that means beautiful and/or wise and/or powerful and/or perfect and/or any of the elements and/or goddess and/or fairy (you get the point yeah). Now, if you named her Big Shit, I wouldn't complain so much. But then again, if you named her Big Shit, chances are, she's either a parody or a non-sue.
And even worse than a Mary Sue (oh wait, I take that back. There's nothing worse in the fandom than a Mary Sue) almost as bad as a Mary Sue is a Canon Sue. I mean, if Draco Malfoy is to fall in love with Hermione Granger or Ginny Weasley or Parvati Patil or Lavender Brown or Harry Potter or Ron Weasley or Severus Snape or Albus Dumbledore or his father or his mother or Trelawny or Sinistra or Minerva, it's not going to be because he/she came back from the holidays with a makeover and cut his/her hair and got piercings and is wearing revealing clothes and suddenly got a uber hot bod OR if he/she came back all in black and changed his/her attitude totally and start acting punk.
And much as I love Hisoka, he is a deranged, psychotic lunatic who kills with a deck of cards. He sliced off someone's hands cause he bumped into him. He's not going to let some random person with an attitude live long enough to fall in love with her. Chances are, he's going to slice her up into shish kebab.
And while we're on the topic, Killua and Gon are not going to be walking (apparently carrying their suitcases along with them cause they don't have the brains to call a taxi) along a road to Mount Whatchamacallit to train (conveniently forgetting the whole of HunterxHunter is getting on with life and leaving the past behind) when there is a scream (from the darkness, apparently, since the author didn't mention a road nor did she mention anywhere, actually, they were just, say, walking -_-") and where Killua's priorities are seriously screwed and he cares more about the age of the girl than, say, how big and bad the thugs are (no, seriously. Author referred to them as 'the guys' -______________-), where the darling boy who slashed people just because he lost at a ball game suddenly flies into a rage and kills 'the guys', and start craddling said girl, and when we're at it, Gon does NOT go kuku nutto bongbong elephant shit monkey face and drop the girl just to answer the question of why Killua is acting like an idiot (one, I wonder why he's acting like an idiot too and b, how does dropping the girl even answer the question???) and even IF he goes kuku nutto bongbong elephant shit monkey face and decides to drop the girl, he does NOT, I repeat, does NOT need to count to three to drop the damned girl. And even IF the above happens, in some very seriously warped and screwed world, Killua and Gon would actually have the brains to say, spend 50 cents on a call to the POLICE or the HOSPITAL (or are the calls free?) instead of apparently abandoning their suitcases which they were supposed to be carrying in the alley and carrying the girl to a 5 star hotel where they rent the largest room and leave her on the bed whilst Killua sleeps on the floor (I dunno, authoress conveniently just mentioned there was ONE BED, in a 5 star hotel top room which costs $500 instead of calling the hospital for free, and they let the weird girl whom they don't even know sleep on said bed whilst they roll about on the floor)And Gon is even better. he apparently has nothing better to do (what happened to going to train, anyway?) other than to sit and stretch his neck so she could wake up and gaze into 'brown orbs'. And don't even make me start on AFTER she wakes up.
Let's face it, Mary Sues are sickening, repulsive figments of the authoress' very sick wishes. They embody the most shameless self-praise and delusions one is able to produce, and the only ones who would want to write a Mary Sue in the first place are insecure, unselfconfident pathetic IDIOTS cause even they themselves can't stand their image in the mirror to the extent that they have to write a MS to actually, say, live.
